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Sorry, but I am not loving or even enjoying parenting my kids 24-7 during COVID-19. In fact, it sucks. Everyday, I feel more and more resentful, isolated, and frustrated. I tell my husband, I feel like a zoo animal. I am stuck in a cage and when we do go outside, we walk the same route. Over and over and over….
I see so many people on social media boast about how many lovely memories they are making. They claim that they are having so much fun together. Or How grateful they are to have this time with their kids. Showing off all their crafts and other BS that makes me feel worse….
Today and yesterday and the day before that and tomorrow, all I am trying to do is survive, while keeping my little people fed and watered. Trying best to not damage my kids and their kindred spirits and salvage my own mental health. I am doing this solo. It has not been fun for me, nor I suspect my kids are loving their crazy-ass mom at the moment.
No way am I looking for a pity party. I am just wanting to share my struggles because I betcha that there is another mom out there who is feeling just like me! Well, you know what sister…embrace the shit out of it because this is right now!
I don’t have the luxury of having my husband at home. He is an essential worker, so he is gone all day, 5 days a week. I bet that there are partners out there that are out of the home longer, with more kids, with worse off circumstances. You probably loathe me right now and my whining. Sorry, I’ll whine with you and we can complain and wallow in this parenting saga together!
I miss my friends. I long for the pretty stores to see the sparkly things I don’t buy and all the smelly candles. Even shopping on-line feels weird and different. And I don’t like it. I feel like I am playing SIMS and I am losing at the game of life!
So, if you feel guilty, know you aren’t alone. If you feel like a crappy parent, I’m there with ya. If you aren’t loving every second, samesies. If you secretly wish school were back in session, I feel you, girl! Because I will be the first one packing a lunch and then taking a nap!
If you feel something, just feel it. These are weird times. These times are hard. Don’t let the Karen’s bring you down. Just take a deep breath and make bedtime early…at least that’s what I do. It is really, really, really hard to pour from an empty cup. Do your best, because at the end of the day, our kids (seem to) love us no matter what. Tomorrow is a new day. Fill up that mug with hot sweet bean-juice (or wine…I won’t judge) and take on the day like the queen you are! These times are weird and I think it’s ok to not enjoy parenting during Covid-19…
Boo-yah Mama!
